Scion – Petro Campaign – Downtime 5

This account was originally found on Livejournal, I am not the original author—I am just a fan of the journal and have found reading it on livejournal clunky to navigate and rife with errors/instability (such as having to refresh multiple times due to the page in questions becoming unavailable often requiring multiple refreshes. The original post can be found here, published by DJ-Yomi, and was published on Aug 23rd 2008

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I’m getting ready to head off to Japan to visit Hinako and Sayuri, and hopefully to meet Keiko’s daughter, Teruko. I’m really looking forward to it, but I’ll miss Echo. She’s pouting right now because she’s not going, and she’s upset that I’m leaving again for a couple of weeks after only being back from Ireland for about a month and a half. It’s been an “interesting” few weeks. As usual, when we aren’t out doing the will of the gods, my drama level increases exponentially. But that’s okay. I think a lot of good came out of it all this time.

I may have mentioned before that I’m really trying to get Sera hooked up with a loving guy who can show her the care and attention she deserves and can help alleviate some of the loneliness that clings to her like a shroud. Well, while she was with the others training at Ray’s dojo, she went on dates with two of Ray’s followers, Michael and J.P. Nothing major happened on the dates…at least, not that Sera’s talked about. I think they were just pleasant dates. I don’t know if anything else will come from them though. *sigh* I really hope Sera finds someone soon. >_<

Another interesting development from my followers’ time training is that Tabby and Ray seem to have forged some sort of mutual respect (at least according to Tabby). Well, Tabby always respected and liked Ray, but I know Ray didn’t think very highly of her. But from the way Tabby talks, they seem to get a long better now, which is refreshing. I don’t expect Ray to really ever like my girls, but I’d at least like him to accept Tabby. ^_^ She’s precious.

But she has been causing a little trouble since her return. She knows Claire (you know, the mummer leader from Ireland) liked her, and apparently she feels drawn to Claire as well despite the age difference. I’m not sure how she got Claire’s email address (Emilie’s probably to blame), but they’ve been communicating back and forth. I’m not going to forbid it. I mean, both of them have a right to friendship if they want. But, naturally, Tabby’s been tempting Claire. I won’t go into the details, but the more they talk, the more intrigued Claire becomes about us and, ultimately, about becoming a shikome. Of course she doesn’t really think of it in those terms, but I think she has a pretty good idea of what continued association with Tabby could mean.

Anyway, I’ve also been talking to Claire and encouraging her to keep up her work for the Tuatha. At the same time, though, I’m not going to prevent her from making her own choices. I’ve made her aware of the dangers that Tabby represents, and I’ve reminded her over and over again about how important her work for the Tuatha is. I’ve also asked her to consider how much of her attraction to Tabby and what she represents is based on baser lusts and desires, and how much is legitimate interest. She’s definitely listening to me. But I think she has a deep need for some sort of fulfillment that she’s just not getting otherwise, so what Tabby and I represent creates a sort of fatal attraction for her. And I fear that her interest may also be something of a reaction to her daughter’s attitude toward her.

In any event, Claire’s a mature woman who can make her own choices. I’ve done all that I can to warn her away short of taking away her free will. So if she ultimately chooses to become a shikome, it’s in her hands. And actually it’s kinda ironic. Despite my efforts to the contrary, I want her to become one of my shikome. She’ll become an elite like Tabby, and like Tabby, she’ll embody both the thrill of being a shikome and a clarity that makes her reliable. I value that greatly. But I still think she’s better off doing what she’s doing for the Tuatha.

Speaking of shikome, Emilie continues to be a troublemaker. Among other things, she’s facilitating Tabby’s “temptation” of Claire, and she continues to stir up trouble. I keep scolding her about it, but I’m not sure that helps. She seems to like being a “bad girl” and the attention it gets her. *sigh* She doesn’t really mean any harm. She’s just really mischievous. I’ll figure out some way to deal with her.

But enough of the little stuff. Now on to the main events. By far the biggest news to report is that I seem to have resolved things with Persephone in a way that’s best for both of us. She’s still completely infatuated with me, but at least she’s accepted that we simply can’t be lovers right now, so I’m no longer her “mistress” (gods, that sounds weird). And though I feared that “breaking up” with her might invoke her wrath, she actually handled it pretty well. At least as well as you’d expect a woman who’s just had her heart broken to react. The important thing is that we remain friends, so we can continue to help and support one another.

It all started after a show in Boston at a club where I play regularly, a place called Morbid Resonance. After my show, I was relaxing in the performer lounge when a young woman came in to see me. She introduced herself as Jen and said she came as an envoy from Demeter. I was immediately intrigued and invited Jen to join us in the lounge. She was very nervous, and I quickly discovered that this was the first time she’d really been called upon to serve her goddess like this, and she wanted to make sure she didn’t screw it up. She was anxious just to face a demigod like me, but I soon put her at ease and assured her that she was doing fine. ^_^

It turns out she’s part of a neo-pagan coven that recently met a couple of scions that swept through the area, drumming up worship of the Greek gods. One was a scion of Dionysus and another, a handsome guy named Arbor, was a scion of Demeter. Jen’s devotion apparently caught the attention of Demeter, because she chose her to be a mortal servant. This rocked the boat a little in Jen’s coven, since she wasn’t the coven leader, but I assured Jen that if Demeter chose her, then she deserved the honor.

Anyway, Jen’s message was simply that Demeter wished to meet with me, and wanted to know when and where would be good. So I offered to entertain Demeter at my home on Red Mountain any time within the next week. Jen took the message back to her goddess, and sure enough, Demeter showed up a couple of days later.

As I expected, we mostly talked about Persephone. Demeter was worried about her daughter, and it quickly became apparent to both of us that we pretty much had the same idea about what was good for Persephone. She agreed that being Persephone’s lover was bad (and hazardous for my health), and admitted that she’d been trying to talk sense into Persephone. So we agreed that my intimate relationship needed to end. But we also both agreed that Persephone needs a friend like me. Someone who can understand her, sympathize with her, and lift some of the loneliness she feels during the months in which she’s in the Underworld.

After we’d discussed this a bit, she offered to bring Persephone to me so that we could work things out. I was a little anxious that Persephone might think Demeter had put me up to it, but having Demeter around as a calming influence was also appealing. Persephone didn’t want to come at first, and Demeter told me that was likely because she already knew how I felt, and didn’t want to face rejection. But in the end, Persephone came of her own accord.

I almost couldn’t bear to see her tearful face and her pleading eyes. She held me tightly and told me how much she loved me, and I tried to be as kind and gentle as possible. But ultimately, I told her that I couldn’t return her love. I made her understand that though her friendship is important to me, I’m devoted to Echo. I told her how much the intimacy of our relationship had hurt Echo. And I explained to her how I believe that even though she and I are similar in many ways, we are also very different, and those differences can be a strength that we share with each other. Our continued intimacy only ran the risk of blurring those differences and thus weakening the strength we can draw from our friendship, and that would be doing us both a great disservice.

In the end, I think she accepted my terms. We remain friends, and I believe we even remain quite close. But we’re no longer lovers, which is a tremendous relief for me. She’s still in love with me…but there’s nothing I can do about that. I’m simply going to have to resign myself to that sort of situation, since people seem to fall in love with me an awful lot. >_<

Once all that was settled, Persephone and Echo spent some time catching up with each other while Demeter and I talked. I asked for her help in resolving things peacefully between Amaterasu and Hades. I’d like to arrange a neutral meeting where their differences (and the differences between out pantheons) can be aired and resolved peacefully. I’m not worried about Amaterasu’s attitude toward a meeting; I’m pretty sure she wants to fix things as much as I do. I’m just afraid Hades won’t approach such a meeting with the best of intentions, so I’m trying to make sure that other members of his pantheon encourage him in the right direction. If I could find a way to get Zeus to back me in this, I’d be all set…but there’s no way I’m going to draw his attention. I’ve been…raped…enough since my awakening. I don’t want it to happen again.

Along those lines, Persephone did acknowledge that she needed to talk to Amaterasu and apologize for her behavior. I offered to set something up, but she shook her head and said that it was something she needed to “grow up” and take care of herself. That made me happy. ^_^

I’m a little worried about Demeter, though. The battles against the titans have really been hard on her, and she’s lost a lot of spirits and strength. She usually stores up her emotional energy and strength over the summer in preparation for the long, cold, winter…but this year she has little to spare. She fears that it will be a very, very difficult winter for her. I offered to do what I could to help…but she said there was nothing I could do, that it was her burden to bear.

At any rate, I’m just happy that I was able to resolve my relationship with Persephone in a way that’s best for both of us and that we’re both more-or-less happy with right now. And I’m glad she didn’t completely flip out and destroy me. I hope to go see her soon, but I’m not sure when I’ll have the opportunity. It will probably be better to wait until I heal the schism between our pantheons.

Oh, while I’m talking about Persephone, I should mention that Echo and Cila (who’s dating Ray now; way to go Ray!) have made up. Echo was kinda upset with her for awhile when I was having issues during my tour, but now that things are back to normal, they’ve rekindled their friendship. It’s nice to see that light in Echo’s eyes again. ^_^

Of course, that’s not all that’s happened lately. You know how in my last entry I mentioned how upset I was about T-Bone’s recent attitude toward things? Well, it turns out he’s upset about it too. He paid Echo and me a surprise visit while my followers were off training with Ray. He didn’t want to run into Dahlia, after all, so he chose a time when she wasn’t around. He really just wanted to talk…about himself, and what he’s been going through lately. He figured I’d be the best person to talk to because, well, Ray and Adam would probably be suspicious and not very sympathetic, and other members or our group really aren’t the best at helping you work through things. Plus, T-Bone and I share a sympathy for darkness that the others just don’t get. In a way, we both struggle with some of the same things, and that’s one thing we talked about.

I won’t go into the details of our conversation—those are between T-Bone and me. But basically T-Bone’s been struggling with his increasing detachment from humanity and worries over what that means for him as he becomes a god of chaos and madness. We talked for a long time, and in the end I think I managed to encourage him. We reached the conclusion that while becoming a god of chaos and madness isn’t necessarily a bad thing, he needs to retain his connection to humanity if he’s going to maintain his grip on himself.

I felt relieved after we’d talked. I felt like I’d recaptured a lot of the closeness between us that’s faded over the past few months. T-Bone’s my friend, and I don’t think I’d realized how much I was losing him until our talk. Hopefully I helped him get back on track. He said he might try to find his way into an asylum, and I thought that would be a good idea. Like I told him, even the insane often have a connection with humanity, even if it is a bit warped and tenuous. I think T-Bone will be all right.

As for me…I don’t know. I don’t think I face the same challenges T-Bone does, but I do have my own. Like him, I’m tempted to accept the darkness more and more fully, sometimes at the expense of my humanity. But I keep telling myself that it’s my destiny to maintain balance…to represent balance.

But, I was sorely tempted to abandon that balance when I met with Miko. As I mentioned before, I had asked Keiko to set up a meeting in which Miko and I could discuss our objectives and come to some sort of understanding with each other. I wanted to know where Miko is coming from and what she wants from me so that I’d be better equipped to deal with it.

We met in the lounge at a club I frequent. I didn’t bring my shikome, for obvious reasons, but I did bring Keiko, Sera, Quinn, Dahlia, and Kimiyo. Miko had a couple of shikome elites with her as well. We sat across each other at t a table, and began to talk.

First, she offered me a gift, a beautiful silver pendant with a red, red rose that looked like it was sculpted from flowing blood frozen into shape. Miko created it herself…and when she said that, I remembered how she used to enjoy working with jewelry. I asked if there were more to it than a simple gift; I was suspicious of her motives in giving it to me, but she assured me it was just a gift born of her affection for me, and thanks to my insight into the ways of deceit, I could tell she wasn’t lying. Even so, I gave the pendant to Sera for safekeeping and planned to speak to its kami before I did anything else with it.

Then Miko and I got down to business. We had a long and heavy conversation. She was sinister and sultry, and kept calling me things like “my sweet” or “my heart.” At first she was elusive, hinting at what she wanted and what she believed my destiny to be without really telling me anything solid, but I coerced her to reveal more and more by behaving as though I truly did desire both her and the things she hinted at. And I confess, there was a grain of truth to the act. I don’t want Miko, but I am tempted by what she offers…

Like so many others (T_T) Miko is completely infatuated with me. Her love for me is very visceral, but it transcends lust and attraction. There really is real, true love there. When I spoke to the kami of the pendant after Miko departed, I discovered that it was created as an expression of those higher emotions. So there really is more to Miko than her base desire to spread the shikome taint and turn me into a more powerful shikome.

And that’s really what she’s offering me. She believes it is my destiny to accept more and more of the shikome taint. And she’s to be the vessel of that. She was basically given that role by my mother. In stages, she plans to increase my taint and thus my power. And I can’t be completely sure, but the impression I got was that she wants me to become a sort of goddess of the shikome. Her fate, as she sees it, is to make that come to pass…and once it does, she would be my handmaiden.

She actually offered me the next stage of that power as we met.

But I denied her. I was tempted (and pretended to be more so than I actually was), but taking that path is dangerous. Oh, it won’t necessarily make me evil or anything, though it could adversely affect my perspective on things. But it would definitely upset the balance that I strive for. If I were to accept Miko’s “transformation” then I could kiss life and light goodbye. I’d definitely become a thing of darkness then.

Miko wasn’t happy. She stopped being seductive and coy and kinda lost it…but she didn’t attack me or anything. And she left when I demanded that she do so. IT was only then, ironically, that all hell broke loose.

Sera attacked Keiko. She punched Keiko and then, once Keiko hit the ground, she kicked her a time or two before the rest of us could stop her. After making sure Keiko was okay (she wasn’t), Dahlia and I both asked Sera what the hell was wrong with her. She accused Keiko of being in league with Miko, of trying to manipulate me into Miko’s clutches and coaching Miko on how to behave to win me over.

I did my best to calm Sera, even resorting to the overwhelming power of my charisma to do so. And then I tried to explain to her what I had already discovered about Keiko. Keiko is friends with Miko, and she cares about Miko and her happiness. She’s only “coaching” Miko because of that. It’s not that she wants me to give in to Miko’s temptation. She just wants us both to be happy, and so she feels she needs to help us whenever she can. And any coaching she did during the meeting was designed to help make Miko calmer and more lucid, anyway.

Anyway, after demanding that the rokurokubi leave us alone for a few moments, Sera ended up revealing Keiko’s biggest secret to me. I won’t go into it here (I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned it before), but I already knew it, and have often spoken to Keiko about it over the past weeks. It’s the same thing that I feared might cause her loyalty to me to waver. Yet I found it in myself to trust Keiko, and believe I made the right decision. That wasn’t enough for Sera, though, and her accusations eventually awakened Keiko’s ire. Keiko accused Sera of projecting her own fear of becoming the evil woman she used to be onto Keiko.

That shocked Sera out of her anger and into remorseful, almost catatonic regret. I asked the rokurokubi to rejoin us and tried to pick up the pieces, but upon seeing Sera’s sad state and hearing that it was Keiko who brought up Sera’s past again, Kimiyo became angry at Keiko and began threatening her until I calmed her. Kimiyo never gets that angry…which convinced me that some sort of supernatural anger effect was lingering in the atmosphere and unsettling my followers’ nerves. I thought it might be the pendant, but upon speaking with its kami, I learned that wasn’t the case. So it must have been Miko herself. I decided that we had to leave the club ASAP.

On the way out, I mildly scolded Dahlia and Quinn; they’d been making mocking comments about the others, and even if they didn’t mean any harm (hell, they weren’t behaving any differently than usual, really), I thought they needed to be more supportive, at least while the others were so vulnerable. And that was when Dahlia lost it. I guess it was a combination of the anger-enhancing atmosphere and the lingering anger of her breakup with T-Bone, but she got pretty mad about me scolding her like that, and when Quinn spoke she almost hit her. That shocked me, and shocked Quinn more. Dahlia and Quinn are tight. They may rib each other a lot, but they’re close, and would never raise a hand to each other normally.

Fortunately, once we were away from the club and back at our townhouses in Boston, things calmed down. Everyone was still upset, but eventually we were able to make peace and forgive each other. Things are mostly back to normal now, though there are still a few raw nerves. Kimiyo’s still unhappy with Keiko, and almost as unhappy toward Dahlia, who keeps making comments about Kimiyo’s “not-girlfriend” Sera. And it took awhile for Quinn to become comfortable around Dahlia again, which hurt Dahlia pretty badly. At least Sera and Keiko seem to have patched things up, more or less.

I hope I never have to go through that again. Seeing my closest friends fall apart like that out of the blue was one of the most traumatic events of my life. I’ll have to be more careful next time I meet with Miko…

As a side effect of all this, Keiko asked me to exempt her from any future plans or meetings involving Miko. She doesn’t want to betray her friend any more than she wants to betray me, and I understand that. Poor Keiko’s been having a hard time lately. I hope we can find a way to make her happy again soon. It seems like a long time since I’ve really seen her smile.

Anyway, I guess that’s about it. Of course I’ve been working on new music and playing clubs and all. And like I said, I’m heading to Japan for a few weeks. When I get back, Echo and I are going to visit Greece for something like a belated honeymoon. She’s been wanting to go for awhile now. I can’t wait! ^_^