Scion – Petro Campaign – Downtime 3
This account was originally found on Livejournal, I am not the original author—I am just a fan of the journal and have found reading it on livejournal clunky to navigate and rife with errors/instability (such as having to refresh multiple times due to the page in questions becoming unavailable often requiring multiple refreshes. The original post can be found here, published by DJ-Yomi, and was published on Mar 21st 2008.
Okay, there has been way too much drama in my life over the past few weeks. Here I am, gearing up for a major, major tour that’s been in the works for awhile, trying to polish off some brand new music that I intend to debut in the clubs I’ll be playing, and all sorts of interpersonal issue are cropping up among my followers, not to mention my own confusion over whether or not I should get rid of my shikome taint. I haven’t heard back from Oiwa yet about setting up a meeting with Izanami, but I hope I can talk to my mother soon. Her thoughts may be the final piece I need to make sense of things. It’s not so much what she tells me…I assume she’ll want me to keep it. My response will have more to do about how she tells me, and her logic behind wanting me to have the taint.
Anyway, I’m am gearing up for a tour, where I’ll be presenting a slightly new direction for my music. It’s not changing completely, but I want to incorporate more of a darkwave element into my existing techno-industrial beats. The tracks I’ve laid down so far sound really good, so I encourage everyone to come out and see my shows at your local clubs.
Why am I not performing in concert venues? Well, that was a conscious decision on my part. Clubs are so much more intimate. I really want my audience to feel like they’re a part of the performance, and what better way to do that than playing in a club where everyone can move to the music? Don’t worry, though, I’ll be playing in the biggest, darkest clubs I can, so there’ll be plenty of room for a crowd. And I won’t just be touring in America. I plan to go overseas as well.
Okay, self-promotion out of the way, I’ll get on to what’s been happening in my life outside of my music lately.
First off, I checked in with Pierre and Adam and learned that everyone got out of Persephone’s realm just fine. It seems that they all had some sort of encounter with gods that have taken a real interest in them, which is pretty interesting. I need to catch up with them about that so that I can keep up with our connections. You never know when they’ll be useful, after all.
Let’s see, I believe Adam was visited by Frigg and Athena. Both of them gave him relics offering him access to new divine purviews. Adam seemed to think they were both interested in his wisdom and intelligence…very fitting. Elisa and T-Bone were paid a visit by Sobek, who was impressed with them from the barge-ride he gave us into Duat. He gave them a gift as well, but neither of them was very forthcoming about what that gift was. Oh well, I suppose we all must keep our secrets. Anna was invited to see her father, Ares, with the promise of great gifts. Fortunately, she turned him down, partly due to Echo’s advice. Sure, Ares might give her some great weapons and training, but he’d likely rape the hell out of her too, and besides, she’s really Artemis’s daughter. Ares has no claim on her anymore. With Adam’s help, she drafted a response that will hopefully placate Ares for the time being. Finally, Ray was asked to escort some of Persephone’s nymphs back to the world, and was confronted by Susano-o while on the way! That bastard of an Amatsukami just wanted to fight Ray to “test” him, and Ray apparently held his own rather well while protecting the nymphs. Susano-o was impressed, and gave Ray a magatama necklace relic. Ray wouldn’t tell me what it did, though.
So, it looks like we’re all building up our connections to the realm of divine politics!
Well, I mentioned drama before, and I guess it’s time I got to that.
First of all, while I was gone, Sera kinda had a mental breakdown thanks to a really terrible nightmare. L She won’t talk about it, but it has to do with her old self, the one that did such horrible things during the World War II era. She’s intensely lonely, and wants to become involved in a relationship again, but she fears that her old ways will creep back in and make her do terrible things again. Personally, I think that’s ridiculous. She’s a completely different person now, and I told her so. I think the best way for her to deal with her issues and regain some self-confidence is to get involved with someone. She’s attractive and she’s a wonderful person, so she’ll have no trouble finding someone if she tries. I’ll be helping her out, of course. ^_^ And fortunately my rokurokubi (especially Kimiyo) and Amy (who is by far the most sensitive and reserved of my shikome) have been doing what they can for her. I think she’ll be all right, but we’ll need to be there for her.
Sera’s issues are, unfortunately, partly to blame for a bit of a lapse in vigilance over the shikome, and while Keiko and the others were visiting the house on Red Mountain to check up on things there, Tabby lost control of herself and attacked a pretty redheaded hiker and her friend. She only bit the redhead, but both the hikers escaped. Sigh. So, chances are there’s a loose shikome out there, and if she’s bitten more girls, there could be an outbreak.
Keiko’s been looking into it, but there haven’t been reports of anything that even comes close to resembling a shikome outbreak, so we’re kinda at a loss right now. I need to find the loose shikome and bring her (them?) under control, but I have no idea where she is, or if she’s even still alive. Keiko’s doing her best, and I’ve been talking to the kami on Red Mountain to see if they know anything, but we just don’t have any leads to follow.
Tabby and the other shikome were scared to death that I was going to kill them when Keiko told me about this. I didn’t threaten them or anything, though I was very angry. They pleaded for their lives, and Amy even offered to die in Tabby’s place. Tabby was…shocked at Amy’s willingness to sacrifice herself.
I don’t think Tabby realizes how much Amy’s in love with her. Not that she’s the only person Amy’s in love with. Amy’s definitely homosexual, and she’s obsessed with Echo too, though Echo doesn’t really flirt with the shikome anymore. Keiko and Sera tell me that Amy’s really, really lonely, especially since Tabby and Robin are so tight. She desperately needs a paramour, but can’t seem to find one. She’s been chatting online with some other girls (most of whom she drives off when they realize she’s a little…odd). Poor thing. I want to help her. I’ll have to be on the lookout for ways to do so, because I don’t want her to be lonely. *sad sigh*
Anyway, my shikome were convinced I would kill them. I assured them that I would not (I don’t want them to be scared of me), but I did use the full weight of my divine charisma to make sure they knew I would not tolerate such lapses in the future. They seemed convinced and totally contrite. Even so, we’ll have to keep an eye on them. I made sure to tell Keiko and Sera that I didn’t really blame them for what happened. They were relieved, but I think they feel guilty anyway.
The other big issue with my shikome involved Miko, the shikome that gave me the taint. When I checked in on my followers, I found that Tabby was virtually bedridden from injuries. While I was gone (and after the hiker incident), Miko stopped in to find me. She and Tabby ended up getting into a fight because Tabby didn’t like the way Miko spoke so possessively of me and the fact that she was bad-mouthing “Mara.” Robin and Amy, of course, joined the fray on Tabby’s side. The long and short of it, though, is that my shikome, and especially Tabby, got their asses kicked. Miko’s more powerful than most shikome, it seems. She did eventually leave without killing anyone, but only after beating Tabby into unconsciousness and dislocating Robin and Amy’s legs.
I’m pretty pissed at Miko, though Tabby really shouldn’t have gotten into a fight with her. Even if she does represent my mother, I don’t like her. There’s something unpleasantly sinister about her, and I don’t think she has my best interests in mind. Oiwa doesn’t like her at all, and I trust Oiwa’s judgement, or at least her honesty, more than most people’s. Anyway, I’ll need to deal with her sooner or later. Maybe I can get some answers about her from my mother when I see her next…
Despite how annoyed I was at the situation, I was sincerely concerned for my shikome. God, I must have sounded like their mother the way I asked if they were okay and checked them to make sure their injuries weren’t too bad. Tabby was hurt badly, but I gently healed her as much as I could. They seemed really appreciative of my care and the positive attention I was giving them. ^_^ I do care for them, even if they are troublemakers. Maybe I should show my appreciation more often instead of just getting upset with them all the time.
I also care for Keiko, Sera, Quinn, Kimiyo, and Dahlia. They’ve always been such good friends. And they’ve been a godsend (literally!) in helping me look after the shikome. To reward them, I gave them a week off and Echo and I brought the shikome to Red Mountain for a few days. I think my youkai girls appreciated the break. ^_^ And the shikome seemed to enjoy spending time with me and Echo.
Okay, what’s next? Oh yeah, Suchette. I discovered that I’d gotten a series of messages and emails from her before she sent her letter. At first she just wanted to get in contact with me, but after the incident in Kaymakli, her messages became just as desparate as the letter she sent (the one I got in the Underworld). This further proved the sincerity of her interest in me, so I called her up.
She was tremendously relieved that I was alive. We spoke at some length, and I learned that she’s quite interested in developing a friendship. She was impressed with me when I met with her before. In fact, I pretty quickly figured out that she had a mild romantic interest in me, so I managed to casually slip into our conversation the fact that I’m already involved with Echo. Suchette didn’t seem too upset, and her attitude didn’t really change. She’s still very interested in striking up a friendship and possible alliance.
In fact, she’s tentatively invited me to provide the music for a vampire get-together she’s planning. I say tentatively because she doesn’t want to invite me for sure unless she can guarantee my safety, which is a worry for her since I’m not a vampire. I mean, what vampire wouldn’t want me? Oops. Watch the ego, Erika! ^_^ Seriously, though, Suchette is concerned over my safety, though she did let it slip that it would only be a problem if I wasn’t a vampire myself by that point. I asked if she intended to turn me, and she said that she intended to make the offer.
Ah, as tempting as the romance of vampirism is, I have to pass. For one thing, while it would give me a good connection to the Underworld, I’d have to leave the sun behind forever, and I don’t think I can do that, not and become a deity of light and darkness. At least my shikome taint doesn’t make me nocturnal. More to the point, I’d have to pretty much sever a lot of my existing ties (such as to the Amatsukami), and besides, I don’t think Suchette can turn me into a vampire since I’m a demigod, not a mortal. Still, it’s a nice, “what if.”
Anyway, I’ve agreed to travel down to New Orleans and meet Suchette on her yacht to discuss things. I’m looking forward to it. I think the vampires of New Orleans will be good allies to have, and I’m completely into making friends with vampires. ^_^
Okay, what else? Oh yeah, Echo and I have been preparing for our formal marriage ceremony, and hen we’ll take a quick trip together to celebrate our “honeymoon” before I begin my tour. I was thinking we could go to Greece, but I’m not sure how seeing all the ruins will make Echo feel…so I think we’ll visit Japan instead. I think Echo will really enjoying visiting Kyoto and the Izumo region to the southwest, especially because of the way she’s become more kami-like recently. ^_^
I haven’t mentioned that, have I? Echo’s…changed a bit recently. Not in a bad way, and not in any way I can put my finger on. She’s more finicky in the way she indulges her lusts, for one thing. Maybe this sounds odd, but it seems like she’s becoming more like a kami than a nymph. Amaterasu even referred to her as such. I guess it’s a manifestation of the way our legends are entwined. She seems very ahppy about it, so I’m not complaining. ^_^
Speaking of Echo, though, we’ve been having a bit of a discussion that makes me a touch uncomfortable right now. She really, really wants to have a child by me, and she’s gone so far as to get a potion that will make this possible. I’ve had to give her a definitive “no.” I just don’t want a child right now, and I don’t see myself as the mothering sort. And, to be honest, if I have a child, I’d like to bear and give birth to it myself. But really, I just don’t feel that the time is right for me to have a child. In a few years, maybe. Right now? No. Among other things, I have way too much going on to be able to devote my life to a child (and I feel that I should do so if I have one). I’m also concerned about Echo’s ability to care for a child. She admits that she’s easily distractible and that all the other children she’s had were mostly cared for by her attendants, but she also pointed out that we generally travel with an entourage of women (plus Brand, but I guarantee he can’t take care of a baby) who can help. I argued that that’s just another reason not to have a child; my shikome practically are children, at least in the amount of attention they demand, and I don’t want to throw even more stress on my followers’ shoulders.
Anyway, I wanted to know why Echo was so insistent, and she said that she believed that she needed to have a child in order to feel that our marriage had the approval of the gods. It’s a Greek custom. I assured her that the gods (Persephone and Amaterasu, at least) had given us their approval. Sure, Amaterasu’s approval was hesitant, but that’s just because our marriage is so unconventional. I could tell she was actually quite happy for me when I asked if she approved. Still, Echo really wants to have a child. I guess it’s a manifestation of her identity as a fertility spirit.
But my answer is no. Not now. In the future, maybe, someday, but not now. Echo’s pretty disappointed, but I don’t think it would be fair to me or our child if I caved in on this just because Echo wants it.
Sigh. How weird can my life get, anyway?
Okay, the last major issue I should talk about is my continued confusion over whether to get rid of my taint or not. Amaterasu’s words really hit home, so I’m just not sure what to do. I’ve always valued the advice of those close to me, so I’ve been asking my closest friends and followers for their thoughts on the issue.
Keiko definitely thinks I should keep the taint because it’s Izanami’s will. She feels that it’s a precious gift and that I should treasure it. Keiko’s more-or-les the leader of my followers, so I value her opinion very much. But something Sera said has recently made me question that. Sera said that she felt I should get rid of the taint, and when I asked her why she disagreed with Keiko, she hesitated before saying that Keiko is extremely loyal to Izanami. In other words, Keiko is going to tell me what she thinks Izanami wants. I found that very interesting, and I’m glad Sera brought it up. Keiko’s opinion is valuable, but now that I know that her views are likely the same as those of my mother, I can better interpret what she tells me.
Kimiyo doesn’t really care one way or the other. She’s become good friends with Amy (though the two of them aren’t in any way romantically involved, thank goodness), so she thinks well of at least one shikome, and I don’t think she sees the taint as a good or bad thing. Dahlia and Quinn, though, said they rather I get rid of it. They don’t mind Tabby and the other shikome when they “aren’t crazy” (Dahlia’s words), but they are kinda fed up with having to deal with the shikome all the time. Echo doesn’t really mind the taint. I don’t think she sees anything wrong with it or, to a degree, the way the shikome behave. But then again, she’s all about indulging her urges anyway.
I summoned Oiwa and asked her opinions. At first, she seemed to agree with Keiko, but I could tell that there was something she wasn’t telling me. I eventually managed to get her to admit that she felt it would be better if I got rid of it. She doesn’t like the shikome, in part because the loss of dignity that they represent. She’s also uncomfortable with it because the shikome are kinda the brutal overssers of the obake (ghosts) in Yomi, so she has a natural dislike of them. Fortunately, she doesn’t so much see me as na “overseer” as she does a mother. So anyway, she’s unhappy with the taint even though she acknowledges its connection to the Underworld.
Wow. A lot of contradictory opinions. Even so, I began to lean toward getting rid of the taint after speaking to Oiwa. I really respect her opinion, and though she represents the dark side of who I am, she was not in favor of the taint. That seemed very significant to me.
Oh, and speaking of Oiwa, she was really worried about me! Apparently she was stalking around before Miko showed up (probably worried about what Miko would do) and later just before Amaterasu brought me back. She was concerned; it’s so sweet! ^_^
Next I tried to talk to Persephone about it. She was hard to get in touch with, but eventually I managed to catch Cila while she was in the world attempting to get in touch with Ray (she seems jealous that a Greek sleep spirit has been visiting Ray so frequently lately…I need to ask Ray about that). Anyway, Persephone had locked herself away for a week or so after Amaterasu’s visit, but she’s receiving again, I managed to get down to the Underworld to visit her.
We talked about a lot of things, and among them I asked her why she didn’t get rid of my taint as Amaterasu asked. She responded that she liked that aspect of who I am. It was something strange and wild and remote, something she found fascinating. She also told me that it represented a potent connection to the Underworld, a connection that I would otherwise be missing. Thus, it is important because it ties me to the Underworld and helps me develop that side of my destiny. She said that many death gods have such a connection, some more potent others. She ate of the pomegranate. Izanami died, and so on. So she fears that I’ll lose my connection to the Underworld if she removes the taint.
So I’m still completely undecided about what to do. I feel like it’s a lose-lose situation. If I keep the taint, I risk losing my connection to Takamagahara. If I get rid of it, I risk losing my connection to Yomi. And while I wonder if I really even need such a connection, I don’t feel I know enough to act hastily right now. I need to find out more, which is why I hope Oiwa is able to arrange a meeting with my mother. And I’m also looking for other ways to connect with the Underworld.
In other words, I’m still confused about that issue.
Whew. I guess that’s about it.
No, one other cool thing happened a week or so ago. Ray emailed me to ask about the proper Shinto funerary practices. I was flattered! Actually, it was hard to answer his question because Shintoism hasn’t really observed funerals much since Buddhism took over that facet of Japanese life. Anyway, I answered the best I could. I look forward to seeing the grave Ray’s setting up. He said it was for a fallen warrior, a friend of his, perhaps? I’ll have to visit the grave soon.